So it's 9:49am and I'm sitting in a camp chair in our tent down south. The baby has just gone down for a sleep. Shit I’m hungry I told myself. But baby had the last banana for breaky. There is a yogurt in the car fridge and some blueberries was my next thought. But that's hers, the thought that soon followed.
Then the 2 big containers of cheesy chicken pasta bake I made yesterday stared straight into my soul. I can’t have that for breaky I thought. Then I said to myself, ‘whatever’.
So here I am, eating cheesy pasta bake for breaky at 10am on a whatever day it is morning.
The whole ‘whatever’ thing came up about a week ago. I was starting to get stressed (again) about not having a 'job' or earning an income since having the baby, I’ve thought about it a lot but always manage to force myself to remain positive. Today, however, it was subconsciously starting to weigh me down.
I tried to articulate to Jacob how I was feeling, and he said ‘seriously Renee, this life is not meant to be stressful, you don’t need a job’. But what about this and that I told myself (and him) bills, mortgage, savings, investing, food for this baby that eats like a horse. The list went on. The old intrusive thoughts started flooding back in, I’m not enough, I’m not doing enough.
‘Whatever’ he told me in a firm but loving tone, and it really stuck. ‘I want you to say whatever at least 5 times a day’. Something bothering you? Whatever. Unwanted thought? Whatever. Spend money on something you probably shouldn’t have? Whatever. The list went on. How ridiculous I thought to myself. But I did not realise how powerful it could be and the positive impact it could have on my mindset when things were starting to feel hard again.
You're obviously not going to ‘whatever’ your big life decisions away, but the little things throughout the day that subconsciously build and leave you feeling deflated and confused about why you're feeling how you are at the end of the day, seriously just say whatever! Cut the ‘I can't’, ‘I shouldn’t’, ‘what if’ and just say ‘whatever’.
I know it might not sound like much, but I encourage you at least once today, when something pops up and it's not how you wanted/expected/visioned/hoped. Just say ‘whatever’, smile and move on. I will literally mumble whatever to myself out loud now, it feels so silly sometimes that I can’t help but smile and each hard moment becomes a little better and a little bit easier.
Life’s too short, time is finite. Don’t sweat the small stuff, just say ‘whatever’.
Til next time,
R
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